Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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