i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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