Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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