Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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