I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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