New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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