Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
