I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
