i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
