if you like me you must not know who I am
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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