Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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