maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
