I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
