u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
