The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
