shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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