shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
