so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
