My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
