my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize