am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
