Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have feelings that need drinking.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
