Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
