just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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