end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
