I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
