I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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