So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
