guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize