Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
