brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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