She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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