i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize