I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
