I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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