that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
