talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
