Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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