Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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