I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Can i not drive my cunt home
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
