i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
