just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We are all done wearing pants today
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
