pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
