Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
