Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize