i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
