How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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