dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
