I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize