You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
