I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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