Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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