This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
