if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
