have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
