That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
