Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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