it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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