Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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