you traded sex for a burrito?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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