Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
