I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
me + whiskey = a bad person
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
