watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
