you turned your livingroom into a bong?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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