Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
