i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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